American TV personality Kristin Cavallari turned heads after she shared a selfie with her new beau, TikTok star Mark Estes while the two were vacationing in Cabo, Mexico together.
While some fans were happy for the beaming new couple, others expressed concern over Kristin Cavallari and Mark Estes’ 13-year age difference.
Some people even claimed that Cavallari should be “embarrassed” for pursuing someone over a decade younger than her, believing it would have been more appropriate for her to date someone closer to her age.
However, by focusing so heavily on age, many people are missing some of the most crucial aspects needed for a healthy relationship: trust, happiness, loyalty, and respect.
Kristin Cavallari should not be embarrassed about her relationship with a 24-year-old. Instead, we should be embarrassed for our reactions.
Cavallari first rose to fame in 2004 starring on the MTV reality series, “Laguna Beach.” Today, she is the founder of the lifestyle brand “Uncommon James,” a New York Times best-selling author, and a mother of three.
After a divorce from her ex-husband, Jay Cutler, in 2022, Cavallari opened up about the possibility of finding love again.
“It’s really not important to me right now. It’s just not with where I’m at in my life,” she told E! News in June 2023. “I’ve had a lot of fun in the last few years, just really focusing on my friends and getting to hang out with my friends again, because I didn’t get to do that for a long time.”
So when fans noticed that Cavalleri had posted a photo to Instagram alongside 24-year-old Mark Estes, captioning it “He makes me happy,” they were stunned, to say the least.
Apart from being a member of the famous TikTok group, “Montana Boyz,” Estes was also a college football player and resides in both Nashville, where Cavallari currently lives, and Montana.
Estes also shared a TikTok video with Cavallari in Mexico dancing by a poolside and sharing a passionate kiss, seemingly confirming their relationship.
Some fans expressed their happiness and excitement for the new couple on social media.
“Yes girl, from all the single moms out there to you… so proud of you, love this for you!” TikTok user Jenaye said in a TikTok video.
“She deserves this kind of happiness!” another user commented.
“Here for this! Bring on the love and happiness!” another user wrote.
There was blowback online from critics disturbed by the age difference between Cavallari and Estes.
“Is she not embarrassed?” TikTok user Emily Teter asked of Cavallari in a video. “The fact that she even entertained romantic type flirty conversation with this kid in the first place, that would be enough to embarrass me.”
“It’s so weird. He [Estes] still has his prom photos on his Instagram,” another user commented.
“The two are in entirely different places in life,” another user noted.
While some people may be unsettled by the 13-year age gap, they neglect the fact that Cavallari and Estes are both consenting adults.
Rather than Cavallari preying on a younger man like some fans are implying, the two of them agreed to pursue a relationship together.
In adult relationships, compatibility, shared values, and trust in one another should be prioritized over age. Individuals at different life stages can complement each other, bringing diverse perspectives and experiences to the relationship. Love and connection transcend age differences, as long as both partners are consenting adults and are on the same page regarding their relationship goals.
Some fans encouraged others to move on from the age gap and simply be happy for Cavallari and Estes, as the two appear to be smitten with one another.
“Kristin knows what she’s doing. She has a lot of self-awareness,” TikTok user @jordycrayy said in a video.
“I’m disappointed that we’re not celebrating this [relationship] more,” another TikTok user, Cassandra Boland, shared. “She [Cavalleri] is a CEO, she’s worth millions, she’s got three kids… I bet they’re having the time of their lives.”
She urged fans to drop their bitter feelings toward Cavallari and Estes’ relationship and support them instead.
Celebrity couples with significant age gaps are not unheard of.
George and Amal Clooney have a 17-year age difference. Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively have an 11-year gap between them. Jay-Z and Beyoncé are 12 years apart.
The only difference between Cavallari and Estes’ relationship and these other celeb relationships is that she is the older partner, and for some reason, society deems that controversial.
Psychologist, Dr. Nicole Cutts, explained to AARP, “Much of the stigma against older women dating younger men is rooted in gender role expectations and ideas of beauty that were based on biology, i.e., younger women more able to reproduce were seen as more attractive.” Things are changing, albeit not quickly. Cutts went on to say, “Women no longer need to rely on men for financial security, and many of these women are choosing men for their physical attractiveness and vitality.”
Louder for the naysayers in the back Dr. Cutts!
Cavallari and Estes’ relationship is not groundbreaking.
In terms of marital happiness, one large study of nearly 9,000 households over 13 years found that older women paired with younger men are generally more satisfied with their marriages than younger women paired with older men.
The truth is that Cavallari should not be embarrassed for her relationship with a 24-year-old. We should be embarrassed for shaming her decisions when it comes to her personal love life, and believing that we as strangers know what is best for her in relationships.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.